Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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