Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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