6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Less talking, more tequila
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
