hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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