I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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