She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
