Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
