Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Terrible idea I love it
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
