It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
