Don't you send me to vm
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
