i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
