JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
