If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
