Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
