ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
