His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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