i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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