we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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