I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Also, beer. Big fan.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
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