CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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