Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I think people are normalizing furries
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
