i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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