You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
where am i from again
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
