You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
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