I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
