Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
