i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
