problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
