she was so not down for the gang bang
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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