i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
