guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
