dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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