Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
