i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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