Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
