if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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