They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
