i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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