He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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