dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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