my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
