dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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