i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
