I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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