I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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