Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
