There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
