you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
