You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
