Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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