if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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