Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
