Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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